Communicate
by purplestuff56
Summary: It's not that I'm afarid he won't accpet me. It's just that I know he won't accept me. Inspired my Coldlpay's song- Talk Not a song fic though. I do NOT own South Park
1. Chapter 1

_**a/n: my other story sucked, so I deleted it. I'll try my best this time. Please read and review. Thank you**_

You don't know. You are unable to see. You're stupid in a way. No, I take that back. You're not stupid, but ignorant in a way I suppose.

The simple fact is that I love you, but could _never_ have you. You wouldn't accept me. I don't even deserve you; you're way too beautiful for an idiot like me. I love you, Eric Cartman.

That's what I thought about when I was in the shower. I wrap the towel around my waist. In the mirror, I see my reflection my eyes all red and puffy. Crying makes you look so bad. It'll go away by the time Eric gets here anyway.

I pat myself dry after brushing my teeth. Slip on some ripped up b jeans and a black t-shirt. Socks are essential too. Then, I grab my infamous parka, hiding my face as the seams.

(Time passed by)

There he is, right at my door. My hearts starts beating fast. Okay Kenny, calm down. Open the door slowly and, there he is. The beautiful Eric Cartman. With piercing green eyes staring straight through my soul. (Not really) But he is glaring at me unusually hard.

"What the hell Kenny, it's cold outside! What took you so long?"

Sorry, I was just nervous to see you.

"Really, my bad dude. Anyway let's go we're gonna be late."

"Whatever" He mutters.

We both enter the black jeep and shut the doors at the same time. Cool.

"I talked to Kyle today." He says out of the blue.

Since when does Eric Cartman like talking to Kyle? Last time I checked, he was nothing but a Jew fag. But hey, people change right?

"The Jew fag is crying because of Stan." Maybe I spoke too soon.

"What about Stan?"

"He's says you rejected him. Now he's a Goth fag dating the curly Goth fag.

"Whoa."

"What did he ask for you to reject him?"

"He told me he loved me and I said he doesn't." I didn't say it in a mean way; just told him how it was. I guess it was blunt though, but I'm a blunt person.

"Gross. But try to talk to him at least."He says stopping the car in a parking place. He turns around to look at me with those pleading green eyes. It almost makes me shiver.

I wonder why he cares so much about Stan. Oh yeah, because Kyle is a crying pussy.

Of course I'll do it, but only for you because it's _you _who asked.

"Fine, whatever." I say getting out the car. I almost said my thought out loud. That would be horrible.

(Lunch Time)

Stan is so fucking retarded. He's lucky Eric asked me to do this mess. If it was Kyle, I'd say no and be smoking a cigarette right now. I guess missing one cigarette for today is okay.

I spot Stan and Curly Goth making out behind the building. I grab him by the arm, ignoring his yelling. We end up by the parking lot.

"What is your problem?" He questions me. He's a pure, grade A idiot.

"Shut the hell up Stan."

"It's _Raven _to you bastard. You're the one who made me this way. You damaged my soul." How he could ever say that with a straight face is beyond me.

"Stan, are you really willing to put Kyle in this position? You guys we're Super Best Friends. But you know what; I don't care what you do." I honestly didn't.

"I'm sorry I can't return your feelings. You don't love me anyway, you love Kyle and you know it. You just don't see it yet." With that said I headed to the cafeteria. God, I am so cheesy. But it'll work because Stan is one big dork anyway.

I spot Eric at the table with Butters and Clyde. Weird as its sounds, it is very true. I glance at Eric signaling him I talked to our little "Goth Fag".

"Hi Kenny." Clyde says in a bored voice.

I sit myself down by Clyde. I glance at Butters. He keeps staring at Eric. It's taking all of my tolerance not to shove that Hello Kitty lunch bag straight up his a-

"Kenny, why are you glaring at me like that?" Leopold asks pouting his glossy lips. Ew.

"Oh, I'm sorry I was just thinking about something." I say sheepishly.

If you only knew Leopold Butters Scotch, if you only knew.

Interrupting my thoughts loudly, the bell rings loudly. Horribly enough, time to go back to English class.

(In English)

"Answer questions on pages twenty-three and twenty- four for home work. Class dismissed. The bell rings. Who the hell gives out homework on weekends?

I walk over to Eric's locker. His class isn't out yet, might as well surprise him. I look over to see Stan apologizing to Kyle. I told you it would work. I see Eric approaching me.

I step aside as he opens his locker. He hasn't said anything to me yet. Did he notice me?

He pulls out what appears to be an X-box game.

"Call of Duty: Black ops. You in after school or what?"

"Fuck Yeah!" I shout out. Nothing and I mean _nothing_ better than playing shooting games.

(School has been let out)

I walk over with Eric to his Jeep. When we get into the car, he looks at me with those beautiful forest green eyes again.

"Stan and Kyle are coming to you know." He tells me.

"Oh, okay." I reply calmly.

I look over to see Kyle and Stan approach the back sides of the Jeep. Stan had better NOT make this super awkward for me. Eric backs out the driveway as I hear Kyle mumble something in the back.

"Kenny, thank you." He says to me. I turn around to look at his face. No eye liner this time.

"No problem, but you should be thanking Kyle not me dude." Oh how I want this conversation to end. I see Kyle shoot me a confused look. Stan is a fucking idiot, I swear.

(After Call of duty at Cartman's house)

Finally Kyle and Stan left. I glance at the clock; it's 5:30. Honestly, who keeps a clock in their bathroom?

I stand at the edge of the staircase. Just as I was about to walk down the stairs I hear Eric talking. Just imagining those soft pink-ish lips move when he talks makes my skin hot. But what is he talking about?

"No he didn't! He told me he rejected you! I'm hanging up on you!" With that said he slams the little red cell phone shut. I walk down the stairs to see Eric sitting on the couch his perfect brows all furrowed.

"You ready to go home?" He spat at me. I do have to go to work tomorrow. I would have questioned him if I didn't.

"Yeah, sure." I reply a little bit confused. Maybe he just wants some time alone. It'll be over by tomorrow.

_**a/n: Thanks for reading! Please judge it honestly and tell me if I should continue or not.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**a/n: Thanks for the reviews! It really got me piped up today! I kept thinking about what I was going to write at school! I might actually flunk, but to hell with it! No, just kidding. Okay, read, review and enjoy please. Thank You.**_

Jesus, working at Wal-Mart can really wear a guy out. I had to stock at least a billion boxes today! I ran up the stairs leading up to my small apartment. Entering in, I flick the lights on. It can really feel lonely in here sometimes.

I plop down on the couch and sigh. All since yesterday I've been thinking about him. He hasn't answered any of my calls, and when he does he's busy. Busy doing what I wonder. I also would like to know why he has acting all fucked up yesterday.

"_If you like pina -coloda!" _

That's Kyle's ringtone. It's 9:30 on a Saturday night. Shouldn't he be clubbing or something? Wait, this is Kyle we're talking about. Never mind then.

"Hello?"

"Kenny, have you talked to Stan or Cartman?" Kyle asks in confused voice.

"Um, no I haven't. I never tried to contact Stan and as far as Cartman…" I trail off.

"What about him?"

"I kind of feel like he's avoiding me or something." I answer honestly.

"Same thing with Stan. I'm heading to bed, but I was just a little curous is all. Talk to you later Ken.

"Bye Kyle." I try to say in my most cheerful voice. I clamp the orange flip phone shut.

Damn it, I was hoping he knew what was up with Eric. But Stan avoiding Kyle, that's unbelievable.

(Kenny Dreaming)

What if everything was gone? What if nothing happened? What if Eric never did get us new friendship necklaces? What if he never apologized?

What if, he never changed for me? What if to him, I was still known as the poor boy in the ghetto?

What if, just what if everything was going backwards? Like instead of being Eric, he turned back into Cartman. What if I never manage up the courage to tell him that I love him? What if he's out of my life, leaving me completely forgotten?

I slowly open my eyes to see the sun's light slapping me in the face. I need curtains, now.

I get up looking at my surroundings. I feel asleep on the couch. My back is aching too. The sad part is that I _still_ have to stock boxes at Wal-Mart today. I know this day is going to be crappy.

(Skipping ahead to Monday morning)

Okay I am officially pissed off. It's 7:30 and that beautiful bastard still didn't show up! I'm taking the freaking bus right now! Ugh!

(Lunch Time)

He is going to get a mouthful for lunch. It's because of _him _that I'm missing another cigarette! He thinks he can avoid me in the hallways and not even say "hi"? I haven't talked to him since Friday! Ugh Jesus Christ what is wrong with him!

I spot him over sitting with the gay tart Leopold and Clyde again. And guess what? Butters is still staring at him! Not to mention that Eric completely oblivious or he's ignoring him. I'd wager $100 to oblivious.

"Hi Kenny." Clyde says as I sit down

"What's up Clyde?" I reply, not wanting to be rude. But now I'm about to be because he won't even look at me!

"Can you at least say "hi" or something?"

"Kenny let' talk." He says getting up.

"Are we leaving?"

"If you want to." He says look me in my eyes. Oh, those beautiful green eyes. They look so hurt though.

(At Cartman's house)

I sit down besides Eric. He's been quiet for a while. I take the advantage to look at his features I love the most. His eyes, his button nose, soft pink lips. But is dimples are amazing. Oh my God.

"I've..heard some things, some things concerning you." He says fidgeting with his red t-shirt with a random rock band on it.

"Continue"

"Stan told me how you kissed him." I got silent.

My brain feels like it shut down for a moment. What did he just say? Ugh, what's going on? Am I high? I could have sworn I heard Stan and kiss. That doesn't sound too good right now.

"Kenny!" Eric shouts.

"Huh? What did you just say about Stan?"

Then he looks me in the eye and starts to reply.

"I said, Stan told me you kissed him in the parking lot that day. He told me you confessed to him."

What the FUCK!

"No the hell I didn't!" I yell. It wouldn't seem much like a scream considering that fact that I still have on my parka.

"Are you sure?"

Did he just ask me am I sure?

"Am I sure?" I say mockingly. "Just what the fuck do you mean am I sure? I can't fucking believe you! Oh my fucking God! Is this why you've been avoiding me? Are you serious Eric!" I scream. Now that scream was loud. I get up and head towards the door.

"No that's not what I meant Kenny! Just sit back down. Please?" He says with pleading.

"Let me ask this, not that I do like Stan. But, I were just gay in general, would you avoid me?" I ask standing at the edge of the couch. I refuse to sit down after what I heard with my own ears.

"No, it's not that whole gay thing. I'd accept you if you're gay dude."

"But I don't fucking like Stan in that way!" I announce. Couldn't he get that through his fucking head?

"I just think that..."

"You just think what?"

"I think you should, give him a chance."

I almost died when I heard that. Wait, did I just hear that? Let me ask him, because this just can't be right. It can't be.

"Okay, I've calmed down. Now what exactly did you just say?"

"You should, give Stan a chance." He said not looking me in the eye.

But, I am in love with you! Not fucking Stan or any other idiot in this world! I love you Eric! Can't you understand that?

"I will never give Stan a chance. You are a true bastard Eric Cartman." I spat at him. With that said, I slam the door and ran all the way to my apartment.

_**a/n: Like I said before, please review honestly. And CareBearCreamPie, I do want something from you. I want some Carny lemon! You to SouthparkLover! Don't think I forgot! Because purplestuff never forgets…**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**a/n:okay, some things in this chapter might be offensive. Like cutting and depression. I do NOT want to offend anybody! Now, review, read blah, blah, blah**_

Thirteen days. It's been thirteen days since that day with Eric. I haven't eaten, drank, or slept in thirteen days. I haven't moved out this house in thirteen days. I haven't taken a shower in thirteen days. I haven't talked to anybody in thirteen days.

But now, I know what I must do. People as selfish as me shouldn't even be alive. Did it even occur to me that Eric wasn't a fag? Why the hell did I even think I had a chance? It's not like I knew there was still going to be a chance.

Pain. That's what I need. I wake up call. I need a release. I can just feel the euphoria pore over my body as I approach the razor blade.

I grab the razor blade and make a large scratch again my arm. Then, another. Another. I see blood. Now, I've lost count of the many scratches on my arm. Tears are pouring out of my eyes like a faucet, but I don't care.

"Knock,knock,knock!"

I slash against my arm one last time. I fall over, and start sobbing immediately. Blood is all over, my shirt. The metallic smell is over-whelming. The pain is such a rush.

"Kenny! Open the goddamn door!"

My eyes slowly start closing. Everything is black.

(Hospital)

"Beep, beep, beep" That sound is fucking annoying. What the hell is that?

I open my eyes slowly, staring at a white ceiling. Oh yeah, I passed out. I am pathetic. So fucking pathetic. Taking in my surroundings, I'm a hospital. Wait, who took me to the hospital?

I look over to see a blue and yellow poof-ball hat. Under that was a head full of chocolate brown hair. This person had the face and body of an angel. I can even see their little chubby belly poking out their shirt, just a little.

Wait, this person was…Eric?

Eric opens one eye, then the other. His face suddenly turns into a frown when he looks at me.

Uh-oh

"You are so fucking stupid! Why'd you have to go and do that?" I can see tears fall down his rosy cheeks.

"Kenny, do you know you have people who care. Kyle, Stan, and I haven't spoken to you and thirteen days! What the hell have you been doing for thirteen days?" Now, he was full-fledged sobbing.

"Eric, you have no idea do you?" He's still sobbing. I guess he didn't hear me.

"Can we go over to your place now?" I ask. I hate hospitals.

"Yeah, the doctor asked if I could aid you when you're done sleeping." Eric says immediately stopping his sibs. His eyes don't get red and puffy like mine. They're still beautiful as always.

"You have to go back to school tomorrow. You were almost expelled. I have all your homework too. I did all of your homework you." He says looking at the ground.

"You didn't have to do that-"

"I wanted to do it. Dude, can we talk about this? Please?"

"I'll talk about it when I'm ready." There was no way I was going to tell him why I did it. My pride is too big and it would be too awkward right now.

(Monday morning at Cartman's)

I get out of his shower. It's way better than my cheap one. The hot water felt amazing on my skin.

(15 min passed by)

"Kenny, you ready to go?" Cartman asks in such a nice, soft voice. Ever since that incident it's like he's been nervous to talk to me. I hate it. I feel like I'm losing my best friend.

"Kenny?"

"Oh sorry, yeah I'm ready to go." I say sheepishly.

(In school hallways)

Ugh, time to go to English class! I really want to punch Ms. Wanders square in the balls.

I walk over to the bathrooms. Oh, there goes Stan.

"Hi Kenny."

"Hi St-

Whoa. Did I just say hi to Stan? Did he just say hi to me? Oh no. He will fucking pay.

I look at him. He is an idiot. I got this confused look on his face like nothing ever happen. This son of a bitch will pay.

I grab him by the arm and drag him in the hall ways. All that's on my mind is beating the hell out of him.

I draw my fist back, but am soon cut off by a loud slapping noise.

"You asshole!" Is that, Kyle?

"Dude why the hell did you just do that?" Stan exclaims.

"You think I don't know what you did to Kenny? Kenny already told you no didn't he? Open you're fucking eyes Stan because I fucking love you!" Kyle stormed off.

It seemed like everything just stopped for a second. All of the student's mouths were in agape. Stan just looked like he'd been on a different planet. And I was super shocked just as everyone else. But then, I came back to reality.

"Well, looks like my job was done." I announced and walked away.

In all honesty it was. But I wouldn't have slapped him and all that jazz. But anyway that just proves to show that again, Stan is an ignorant fuck. Maybe he learned his lesson, maybe not. Either way, I won't be talking to him any time soon.

Right now I have things way more important on my mind. Like how in hell's name should I explain this to Eric.

On the way home he kept apologizing for not being a good friend and avoiding me, especially for suggesting Stan as my boyfriend.

But, I feel like I'm the one who should be apologizing. I didn't know he would take it so hard. But then again, I didn't eat or drink for thirteen days. Let's face it, without those necessities that could turn a person insane.

I hope he'll listen to me.


	4. Chapter 4

_**a/n: I've got writing fever! Enjoy!**_

I sat down beside him on is bed. He still has to 'aid' me or whatever. But if it were me, I'd be like that too. If it were me, I'd never let him out of my sight, whether I was in love with him or not. We are still best friends.

"I over reacted, a lot. The Stan thing wasn't even that big of a deal." Which it wasn't.

"But when you said that I should give him a chance, that hurt dude. It hurt a lot." I spoke honestly. No holding back I guess. If he rejects me, so be it.

"Why would that hurt?" Damn, he did have a point.

"It's because…I'm in love. In love with a person that's been there my whole life." Well most of it, anyway. I really should get to the point. I think he knows I'm hiding something.

"You are, so hard to understand aren't you?" I put my arm around him, not having any regrets of the future. No more will I hold back.

He looks up at my and smiles. Odd. Very odd.

I look down and smile back at him.

"You are just so much to me. It's like everything you do has this affect. You're skin, and bones. It's just turns into something beautiful. It just comes altogether, perfectly. I love your eyes. I love your nose. I love your cheeks. I love your body, your mind and everything. I love you."

I look down to see his reaction. Will he kick me out? Will he reject me? Have a lost the only friend that really matters? What will be the outcome?

"Are you serious?" He asks sadly.

Did he think I was joking? Who in their right mind would joke like that?

"Why would I joke like that?"

"I couldn't picture anybody with me. Not after all the things I've done. Especially you, of all people." I guess it would be natural for him to think that.

I un-wrap my arm from around his shoulders. I take off my hood, revealing my face a lot more.

I turn my face in his face's direction. My eyes meeting his, beautiful green ones. I lean over closer. I pull him closer. Finally, my lips meeting his soft wonderful lips. I flick one eye open, just to see his face. His eyes have tears coming out of them.

I pull away even if I don't want to, his feelings matter more than mine.

"Should I leave?"

He pulled on my blond locks and gave me another kiss. His lips leave mine with a wonderful smacking noise.

I look at his tears stained face. Another steak came down. I wiped it away with my thumb.

"I love you more than you could ever know Eric."

"I love you back. More than you could ever feel, know, and more. "That was so typical, but I'll make an exception.

My skin feels so hot when he leans over tome. He looks so hot. His eye half- lidded. Lips slightly parted. I don't think I can control myself right now. Everything is like, according to the atmosphere.

Oh my god, he's un-zipping my jacket.

"I want to, show you how much I love you." Oh my god, stop!

I moan. Real smooth Kenny, real smooth.

His lips press against my own. I can't believe this is happening. This is fucking happening!

"Um, yeah this is happening." Did I say that out loud? Like I said real smooth.

This time I kiss him. Licking his bottom lip asking to open the gate. The gate to his sweat, wonderful insides.

He tastes too good. A lot like chocolate, that matches his hair. Tongues wrestling, with mine winning over the dominance.

Soon clothes are on the ground leaving us naked. Thank God Mrs. Cartman was at work.

I stop kissing him and just take time to look at him. He is so perfect. His belly button is awesome!

"Dude, your pubes are blond." He says with a smirk.

I chuckle a little. I mean, it was funny.

"You barely have any pubes baldy."

"Shut up Kenny."

"I love you too." I bend down to kiss him.

I kiss him on his forehead, then his nose. Both of his cheeks (on his face) then, his lips. Then on his perfectly beautiful neck. Leaving a hickie or two. Now, on to his wonderful tummy. I blow on it; it made the most hilarious fart sound. We both laugh hard at that.

Then on to the grand finale. His fireman, his love stick. I licked the head, gaining a moan.

(I am no good at lemon so I just can't write it. I'm very sorry)

I wake up feeling warm. Last night was wonderful, very wonderful.

"Finally waking up I see." His voice sounded so hot when he woke up.

"You were, and still are wonderful. And beautiful. And so much more added to it."

"I love you." I really do.

"I love you too."

(Two months later, on the phone)

"I love you, love" We both chuckle at my corny-ness.

"I love you too," He says in between chuckles.

"Kay then, bye." I hang up.

Even when I'm at work I still manage to call him, just to say those words. I do it because I want to. They make me remember, a lot. I say it because it could be the last time I ever say it. It could be the last words that I'll ever say to him or he'll say to me.

All you have to do is communicate, and maybe everything would be better than you'd thought it would be. Don't be scared, and just live.

_**a/n: A lot Coldplay songs inspired me to write. I even used one of their songs called" Yellow" in it. If you didn't notice. I also highly in courage you to listen to them If you don't . I'm sorry if this sorry sucked or not, but I tried my best. But I will keep writing fandoms. Thank you for reading. Good Bye.**_


End file.
